Jalapeno Peppers
by starlinc
Summary: Hermione is sick of Ron being rude about Muggle food, so she challenges him to a bet concerning certain extremely spicy foods. . . .


A/N: One-shot. Completely and utterly spontaneous. Enjoy.

* * *

Hermione was hungry.

She had invited Ron, Harry, and Ginny over to teach the two Weasleys about the muggle world. With Harry's help of course.

She'd thought it'd be hilarious, but so far it was just difficult.

Harry and Ginny were out on a date. That left her and Ron alone at her house. He was such a pain! Muggle food was disgusting, TV was stupid, and cars made him nauseous. He was so frustrating!

This had left her with a sudden urge to do anything and everything to annoy him to pieces, and she was starving.

So, she decided she was going to order pizza. If Ronald didn't like it, he could suck it up, or go hungry.

After the pizza was delivered she shouted up to Ron.

H.G.&R.W.

Ron was upstairs, watching TV in the guest bedroom. Despite was Hermione thought, he actually liked TV. He just pretended to hate it because he didn't want to prove her right that muggles could have good inventions, despite the fact they had no magic.

If Ron had any idea how much his supposed opinion on muggle inteligence hurt Hermione, he would've backed off considerably. But he didn't know, and so the following happened;

H.G.&R.W.

Hermione loved the brilliance of pizza. To think that pieces of bread, cheese, and tomato could taste so good was mind boggling. But even more than she loved pizza, she loved pizza with jalapeno peppers.

These, again, more than pizza, were also confusing. How could something that tasted so spicy, fried taste-buds, and made even the toughest taste-testers in all the land cry enough water to fill the Nile, be so delicious? The phenomenon of Jalapeno peppers was the eighth world wonder to her.

Startled, Hermione's thoughts were interrupted due to a loud crash from upstairs. Her eyes flashed, she counted to ten, and sighed.

"Ronald!"

"Oops. . . ."

Ron came down the stairs looking a strange blend of sheepish and defiant.

Hermione counted to ten again and asked, "What happened?"

Ron looked suspicious, like he thought she was going to burst any minute a string of insults to knock him in to next week. But Hermione remained level headed, so the sheepish half took over.

"I. . . erm. . . I. . . ." Ron shuffled his feet.

"Spit it out, now Ronald!"

"Well, I was watching. . . something, and the something didn't go the way I wanted, so I. . .erm sent a jinx that. . . erm broke the TV screen."

"I see."

"Are you mad?"

Hermione didn't answer him. She just went to the kitchen counter where the pizza was sitting. She took out a slice and began to eat. It wasn't spicy enough, she decided. She put pepper flakes and paprika, as well as sliced pepper flavored Bertie Botts Ever Flavored Beans, which, surprisingly, were very spicy.

She took another bite. Not spicy enough yet. Hermione put kayan pepper and chile peppers on the slice.

Another bite. Hermione let out a frustrated 'huff' sound.

Then, grinning broadly, she took out her secret weapon in the war she was raging with her taste-buds. Jalapeno peppers. Despite the fact the pizza already had some, she didn't mind adding more.

Ron, who up until now had been watching with mild interest, no asked with a very alarmed tone, "What the bloody hell are those?!"

"Geez Ronald, you're acting like you've never seen a jalapeno before!"

However, Hermione soon realized from the blank/incredulous stare on Ron's face that he had, in fact, never seen one of the previously mentioned peppers.

"Wow." Hermione was suprised that there was a single person who had never had jalapenos, but Ron was odd to begin with.

Then, an uncharacteristic mischievous grin spread across her face. She plucked one of the jalapenos out of the jar they were kept in. Ron looked scared under her Fred&George like gaze.

"Oh, Ron?"

"Ye-ye-yes?" Ron knew that when Hermione got that gaze. . . ."Am I going to regret this?"

"Of course not, Ron."

"Yes. I am. I can tell. You aren't always right, you know."

"Oh. . . . I was just thinking. You know what I have always found impressive? A guy who could stand to eat 20 jalapenos in one minute then not drink any thing for at least an hour after."

Hermione knew that Ronald hated spicy foods. And he knew it, too. "Bet you. . . 10 Galleons. Yeah. Ten galleons says you couldn't do that."

Ron knew that if he didn't accept the challenge, he would be an ongoing joke. Besides, a sneaky, very honest at the wrong times, was saying that it would impress Hermione. And pointing out, that that was always a good thing.

At five jalapenos, his eyes began to water. At ten, his tongue began to burn. At twenty? He was pretty sure there was smoke coming out of his ears.

As Hermione stared, amused by the whole scene, a minute passed. Then there were three. Then it had been seven.Then there was twenty minutes total. After a half hour, Hermione grabbed some soda, and began drinking it rather loudly through a straw. At 50 minutes, Ron was gripping the edge of the table, his knuckles white, sweating. At 59 minutes, Ron couldn't take it. He grabbed Hermione's soda and started to drink so fast some went down his chin and soaked the neck of his shirt.

"Oh, so close! That'll be 10 galleons.!

Then, Hermione had a thought. "Still. . . . You did an impressive job. . . . Well, I'd have to say Ron, I am impressed."

She stepped toward him. "Very impressed." She looked up at him.

"Maybe you are always right, because I don't regret taking that bet."

"Do you regret this?" Hermione kissed him softly.

"That impressed?"

"Yeah, it was impressive."

"Than no, I don't regret the fact I now owe you ten galleons."

"Which I fully expect to be given tomorrow."

"Of course."

Did you like it? Review! Please. Little blue button. . . .


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